You may not look at sex the same way ever again…
A recent study has taken a closer look at what people truly enjoy the most when they’re being intimate with a partner. And the findings might just change the way you think about sex.
Conducted by researchers at Indiana University Bloomington, the study surveyed more than 4,000 people. They asked them to describe their favorite things about being sexual with a partner in hopes of uncovering what really matters most in these intimate relationships.
And if your only education on the subject came from awkward high school health classes or binge-watching shows like Sex Education, then yeah – the results might come as a bit of a surprise.
The study included responses from a total of 4,030 participants. That broke down into 2,016 women and 2,014 men, with ages ranging from 18 years old all the way up to 91.
Published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, the study asked people to answer this open-ended prompt: “Describe your favorite things about being sexual with a partner.”
Of course, given the subject matter and how some people still struggle to talk about it seriously – it’s no big shock that a few answers leaned more on the playful side. One person simply responded, “sex is great, period,” while another wrote “everything.”
What do you enjoy the most about sex? Getty Stock Images
Not every response was lighthearted, though. One 66-year-old woman shared a more disheartening take, saying that for her, sex was really just “part of her job being married.”
But despite a few like that, most of the feedback was positive. The researchers were able to categorize all the replies into 22 key themes based on the kinds of things people found meaningful or enjoyable.
According to the study, many participants talked about specific sexual activities they enjoy – ranging from kissing to oral sex. Researchers noted that responses mentioning these types of acts came up often, particularly among male participants.
That said, not all the answers focused on physical acts alone. Some people mentioned things like hugging, giving or receiving a massage, or even something as sweet and simple as touching stomachs together.
Other responses reflected deeper emotional connections. People talked about the joy of pleasing their partner, feeling loved and cared for, and just feeling good in the moment together.
Interestingly, ‘orgasm’ didn’t even make the top five. It came in sixth place. Some of the lesser-mentioned but still notable themes included topics like kink and pain, imaginative fantasies, primal urges, and even reproduction and parenting.
It should never just be about the big ‘O’ Getty Stock Images
So what was the number one thing people valued most when it came to sex with a partner?
Turns out, the biggest takeaway was intimacy. A total of 912 participants said that feeling close to their partner – whether that closeness was physical, emotional, or even spiritual was what meant the most to them during sex.
Some people described having “overwhelming feelings of closeness.” Others talked about getting “lost in the moment.” And one person beautifully expressed that everything else just disappeared and it felt like it was “just the two of us” who “matters.”
The researchers wrapped up the study by emphasizing how sex means different things to different people. They highlighted how sexuality can be filled with a wide range of positive experiences at any age or stage of life.
The results encouraged people to look beyond the basics and think about sex in a more open and meaningful way – one that includes not just physical pleasure but emotional connection too.
